I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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