a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
