would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize
