Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
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You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
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I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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