It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
