I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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