My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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