So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
