He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
