Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you win again, gameday.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
