we made out on top of his cat.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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