i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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