i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
