shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
