I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
