Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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