so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I can text with my tongue
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she peed on how many people?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
