The maid of honor just puked.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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