The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
