Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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