dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i dont even know how to be here
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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