Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize