We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
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He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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