Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
