Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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