Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
