Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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