I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
