i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He felt like a one man threesome
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
