So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize