why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
