Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
