so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
