I'm lost and stupid without you.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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