If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
