Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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