Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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