just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
