so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
