dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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