I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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