not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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