C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
