Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
