She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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