remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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