So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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