i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
