ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
