Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
