My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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