She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
