i permit you to call me
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
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That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
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I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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