I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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