I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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