just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
