Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
