Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Did I show you my penis last night?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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