Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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