im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize