Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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