Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
